When you think of a tropical paradise, what do you think of? Do you think of soft sand beaches, small islands as far as the eye can see, towering cliffs on all sides, mischievous monkeys, constant unavoidable songs from the jungle, hammocks, and warm salt water baths everyday? For most of us these adjectives would suffice. Add to the mix thousands of limestone sport climbs, cheap jungle bungalows, and none of those common tourists (only a hand full of young rasta climbers from around the world), and I would call it paradise. Welcome to Ton Sai Bay, where the saying goes, “I’ll leave Ton Sai… tomorrow.” Its beauty is one of a kind and can only be fully understood with personally experiencing it. This is where the dilemma lies, once you experience it you often wonder if you really need to ever leave.
The only way in or out is by long tail boat, and once you arrive you can’t help but think of being on a secluded island. After wading to shore with your pack, you wave to the boat and quickly start searching for a place to call home. As you walk up the rutted dirt path you pass a couple of small bars, two stores, Chicky Mama’s and the message board which reads over and over again, “Lost camera, stolen by monkeys, please return if found.” It is at this point you look up at the monkeys in the trees, laugh and start to plan for the unexpected. As the bungalow search continues you pass Base Camp, a climbing guide place, and The Backyard hangout, before you finally reach the cheap bungalows at the end of the road. You check in, unpack, and settle in to the timeless, worry free life style we all crave so much. Tomorrow… climbing!
Going into this climbing adventure, I was legitimately nervous. There were a lot of factors that made me question what I was doing. I wondered if I had the mental and physical strength to climb considering the fact that I hadn’t been an avid climber in a couple years. Add to that the fact that I was in another country half way around the world where rescue by helicopter wasn’t an option, in a place where the only advice for evacuation was, "Don’t get hurt." The evacuation process was often long, painful, and unorganized, with the only way out being by boat. Watching one of the local Thai guys fall and break his arm the first day didn’t help any, especially after watching the sad attempt at getting him to a doctor. Add to that the difficulty of the climbs. There were hundreds of climbs, but only a handful that were in both Siri and I’s ability level. Top roping was not an option, considering the only access to the top of the massive cliffs was straight up no less than 100m. And of those doable climbs, there were only a few that had safe protection. Ton Sai’s limestone cliffs are some of the most corrosive, and normal stainless steel bolts did not stand a chance. This observation was made after years of bolting routes with stainless bolts and only recently has there been an effort to rebolt with stronger, less corrosive titanium bolts. This was great news, but the only problem was you often didn’t know which was which. Add the fact that most of the easier climbs had been climbed so much over the years that the rock itself had been polished down to a glass-like surface. Let’s just say in Ton Sai, chalk is your best friend. If these mental hurdles were not enough, consider probably the most serious factor, my climbing partner. When it comes to climbing, trusting your partner is vital; after all, they have--quite literally--your life in their hands. Don’t get me wrong, I have full confidence in Siri’s ability to comprehend the concept and her competence, but these things do not make up for lack of experience. She had only belayed a top rope a handful of times before arriving in Ton Sai, and a lead belay is much more serious, and requires a great deal more attention to detail, focus, and intuitiveness. All qualities Siri possesses, but they are not enough in themselves, hands on experience and practice in fine tuning these qualities is critical.
Needless to say, all these factors instilled a lot of doubt in my mind, but that’s the game you play while climbing. It is one of the most effective ways to become aware of these fears and to practice controlling your mind’s reaction. Climbing is the ultimate mind game. You consistently and consciously put yourself into the most trying of positions where you battle between giving up and just making that crux move no matter the result. You know that time is no longer a factor, because in this situation too much time spent thinking could be the difference between making it to that next piece of protection and taking that next fall. So you face your fear, rid your doubt, and with that last bit of energy, you make that move… AAHHH! There it is, the savior hold. And the mind comes rushing back, only to be thwarted again by that next move, keep the rhythm, one move at a time, focus.
Right at this moment, when your mind is about to break, and you are about to give into your uncertainty and fear, you calmly take a deep breath, place that toe, place that hand and with a still, collected, and composed mind, you make that move. It is at this point that all else disappears, and your mind is truly free of all thought, and you truly feel alive, at one with the rhythm of life. It is unmistakable and unavoidable.
Ton Sai was an epic experience and another reminder of how powerful the mind is and how easily it can allow the illusion of fear and the distrust to take control of you. It reminded me of the concentration and focus needed to control my wandering mind as well as the importance in doing so. Ton Sai successfully rekindled my forgotten love of climbing. I think a return trip is necessary. Maybe it will involve a sailboat, a few good climbing friends, and a long break from work.
The only way in or out is by long tail boat, and once you arrive you can’t help but think of being on a secluded island. After wading to shore with your pack, you wave to the boat and quickly start searching for a place to call home. As you walk up the rutted dirt path you pass a couple of small bars, two stores, Chicky Mama’s and the message board which reads over and over again, “Lost camera, stolen by monkeys, please return if found.” It is at this point you look up at the monkeys in the trees, laugh and start to plan for the unexpected. As the bungalow search continues you pass Base Camp, a climbing guide place, and The Backyard hangout, before you finally reach the cheap bungalows at the end of the road. You check in, unpack, and settle in to the timeless, worry free life style we all crave so much. Tomorrow… climbing!
Going into this climbing adventure, I was legitimately nervous. There were a lot of factors that made me question what I was doing. I wondered if I had the mental and physical strength to climb considering the fact that I hadn’t been an avid climber in a couple years. Add to that the fact that I was in another country half way around the world where rescue by helicopter wasn’t an option, in a place where the only advice for evacuation was, "Don’t get hurt." The evacuation process was often long, painful, and unorganized, with the only way out being by boat. Watching one of the local Thai guys fall and break his arm the first day didn’t help any, especially after watching the sad attempt at getting him to a doctor. Add to that the difficulty of the climbs. There were hundreds of climbs, but only a handful that were in both Siri and I’s ability level. Top roping was not an option, considering the only access to the top of the massive cliffs was straight up no less than 100m. And of those doable climbs, there were only a few that had safe protection. Ton Sai’s limestone cliffs are some of the most corrosive, and normal stainless steel bolts did not stand a chance. This observation was made after years of bolting routes with stainless bolts and only recently has there been an effort to rebolt with stronger, less corrosive titanium bolts. This was great news, but the only problem was you often didn’t know which was which. Add the fact that most of the easier climbs had been climbed so much over the years that the rock itself had been polished down to a glass-like surface. Let’s just say in Ton Sai, chalk is your best friend. If these mental hurdles were not enough, consider probably the most serious factor, my climbing partner. When it comes to climbing, trusting your partner is vital; after all, they have--quite literally--your life in their hands. Don’t get me wrong, I have full confidence in Siri’s ability to comprehend the concept and her competence, but these things do not make up for lack of experience. She had only belayed a top rope a handful of times before arriving in Ton Sai, and a lead belay is much more serious, and requires a great deal more attention to detail, focus, and intuitiveness. All qualities Siri possesses, but they are not enough in themselves, hands on experience and practice in fine tuning these qualities is critical.
Needless to say, all these factors instilled a lot of doubt in my mind, but that’s the game you play while climbing. It is one of the most effective ways to become aware of these fears and to practice controlling your mind’s reaction. Climbing is the ultimate mind game. You consistently and consciously put yourself into the most trying of positions where you battle between giving up and just making that crux move no matter the result. You know that time is no longer a factor, because in this situation too much time spent thinking could be the difference between making it to that next piece of protection and taking that next fall. So you face your fear, rid your doubt, and with that last bit of energy, you make that move… AAHHH! There it is, the savior hold. And the mind comes rushing back, only to be thwarted again by that next move, keep the rhythm, one move at a time, focus.
Right at this moment, when your mind is about to break, and you are about to give into your uncertainty and fear, you calmly take a deep breath, place that toe, place that hand and with a still, collected, and composed mind, you make that move. It is at this point that all else disappears, and your mind is truly free of all thought, and you truly feel alive, at one with the rhythm of life. It is unmistakable and unavoidable.
Ton Sai was an epic experience and another reminder of how powerful the mind is and how easily it can allow the illusion of fear and the distrust to take control of you. It reminded me of the concentration and focus needed to control my wandering mind as well as the importance in doing so. Ton Sai successfully rekindled my forgotten love of climbing. I think a return trip is necessary. Maybe it will involve a sailboat, a few good climbing friends, and a long break from work.
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